Holy Shuck!

Royal Oak Hotel

527 Bridge Road

Richmond

Ph: 03 9428 4200

Walking along to work the other day, my jaw literally dropped when I saw this sign. $1 oysters for the whole month! I was so excited; one of my favourite foods for only a dollar at the local. Then I remembered that I was standing outside the Royal Oak, a TAB pub whose largest space is taken up by pokies and a sports area; a place I had never eaten at before and probably wouldn't have tried if it weren't for the oyster special.

Natural oysters, $1 each. Kilpatrick, $1.50 each.

A fresh, salty natural oyster normally overwhelms my palate with its refreshing brine and soft, smooth texture. A perfect oyster leaves me delaying eating anything else for as long as possible to savour that amazing taste. Last night, I left with a pleasant taste in my mouth, but that's all it was; the oysters were just "nice". The taste was more fishy than fresh and salty, and presentation could have been better; rather than the usual rock salt or ice, the oysters came out on a bed of browning iceberg lettuce.

I've often walked past this pub and looked in at the rows of elderly people sitting at the slot machines, and it seemed like little else was going on in there. Indeed, when J and I went, the only people in the bistro were ourselves and a family of four. "We have our nights", said the waitress, especially when the footy's on. For anyone who has spent an afternoon or evening at the MCG I can understand the appeal of this pub; cheap beer and the constantly changing specials, including steak nights and parma nights, make the Royal Oak seem like a good option for a quick, cheap feed. Service is surprisingly young and friendly, too.

These oysters are a bargain but they're not worth crossing town for. If you're a local, stick to the kilpatrick variety; the rich, tangy sauce and crispy bacon helps to distract from the mediocre quality of the oyster.

Set your own table at this family friendly pub

Inlet Hotel

45 Great Ocean Rd

Aireys Inlet

Ph: 5289 6270

In 2004, Melinda Houston wrote in The Age that the Inlet Hotel provided value that "is hard to go past". Perhaps there has been a price rise because, when my family and I visited on the third night of our holiday in Aireys Inlet, we agreed this local pub was not the kind of place you'd describe as value for money.

Yearling rump steak with chips and salad - choice of mushroom, pepper, garlic or gravy sauces - shown here with garlic sauce ($25.90)

As above, with pepper sauce.

I love when there is a seafood platter on offer and used to jump at the chance to order one, but it was my dad who taught me that buying a "fisherman's basket" at your local pub is probably not a good idea if you want to avoid grease and chewy calamari. We discussed The Inlet Seafood Platter, however, and agreed that if you're going to get a platter from a pub, one right on the coastline such as this would probably be a safe bet.

The Inlet Seafood Platter - a selection of prawns, oysters, smoked salmon, fried fish and calamari ($36.90)

The salmon was fresh and delicious, sitting on salad of lettuce, tomato, carrot and red onion, and the combination of the onion and salmon was great. The oysters were very nice, but definitely not the freshest I've had. Those two items were the highlights of the platter, and the rest of the seafood was quite average.

The first piece of calamari that I took a bite out of was tender and easy to chew, but I must have just been lucky because the majority of the pieces after that were so stringy that I couldn't bite them in half. The menu proudly states that the calamari is "house crumbed" - we discussed that perhaps this simply means the seafood arrives processed and frozen, and dunked in some bread crumbs before serving.

The prawns were a good size, but instead of tasting fresh and having a firm texture, they were bland and almost mushy. The fish itself was fine but the batter wasn't cooked all the way through, leaving a doughy covering around the fish.

Chicken Parmigiana, breast of chicken with ham, napoli sauce and mozzarella cheese with chips and salad ($23.90).

The parma was good: a thick piece of juicy chicken breast, and a fresh salad that was very welcome to cut through the grease of the average tasting chips.

Premium rib eye steak, with horseradish mash, roast vegetables and red wine jus ($34.90)

This was a very nice dish; the creamy mash and rich sauce were great accompaniments for the tender steak.

Roasted chicken Maryland with a chickpea, preserved lemon and apricot tagine ($21.50).

There is definitely a place for the Inlet Hotel. It's very much a family friendly establishment; most tables had children, and two little boys ran noisily around the restaurant uninterrupted. The pub is attempting to keep up with its city counterparts, offering plenty of gluten free options, but expect to set your own table and get your own condiments. With an average-tasting seafood platter sitting close to $40, and the cheapest main - risotto of roasted tomatoes, basil, pine nuts and goats cheese - at $19.90, the Inlet Hotel has the kind of prices you'd expect in major cities, without the freshness and quality.